Quote of The Day

Thursday, April 19, 2018

Following the Angst


Still working on my #100dayproject2018
 Sometimes out of nowhere you get a
 feeling. Or a thought about a person
 you haven't seen or spoken to 
 in years! It nags you until you 
indulge it by doing a google search!
Recently I had a really strong 
feeling about a cousin, dads
 sisters son!  More than a 
a decade my senior, we lost
 touch after his mom died. 
Thirteen years ago I bumped 
into him  at a mall, we sat in
 the food court and caught up!
 He apprised me of a time 
 he saw me at a coffee shop.
I was with two girlfriends! 
It was surprising that he never
addressed me that day as
his parents were always so
jovial!
He was probably amused
  that I hadn't  recognized
 him eavesdropping! I
  vaguely remembered
an older male sitting 
 kitty corner to us.
We caught up a bit more,
then parted ways. I haven't
  heard  from him since! Then
 March 30th this year my angst
  to look him up was haunting! 
Unfortunately he's from the 
generation not always internet
savvy! So it was a bit more of
a challenge to find him!
  I persisted in my search
  and found an obituary. 
 His wife of 54 years had recently
passed March first! The funeral
was March 29th one day before
  my incessant google search! 
Only seventy one she'd been
living in a care home! In lieu
of flowers they requested 
donations to the Alzheimer
society! Which I found odd
since she had Crohns disease
from the age of seventeen
and wasn't expected to live
past thirty! I had a little cry
for my cousin and his family! 
I was shocked at where my 
intuition lead me! They
were such a close couple 
and I'm sure the loss has
been devastating for him!

 Then last week I had another
angst to find an old childhood
  Friend! Mature  well beyond
our years we spent countless
  hours together as kids. Sharing
 secrets, cooking, singing,
 chasing boys and camping! We   
went to the same Sunday 
school and youth group, slept
at each others homes almost
weekly for years. We got into
a lot of mischief together!
 I was a year older, her sarcasm 
was biting  at times, eventually our 
friendship  waned in our mid teens!
 For the sake of nostalgia I had
her   stand up at my wedding.
Then I moved away, she  followed
 a different path and we lost touch!
  My memories of her have always 
held a  special place in my heart!
As a young woman  she was in hotel 
management, and once  featured in the
 Newspaper having had a professional 
makeover.  I kept the article! 
 For some reason there was this 
deep nagging feeling  to peek in on 
my friend. Not to contact her, but
to see if she had a family. I'd
always wondered if she'd ever 
pursued writing since she
was quite a wonderful writer
as a young girl! We were two
creative souls who had not
yet realize our full potential
during our friendship!

I found my friend. We both have only 
children with  very unique names!
At ten we kibitzed about what  we would
 name our children. At the time I wanted
 to call a daughter Paisley...but my partner
balked at it! My former friend also had
something unique in mind but never
followed through! Her daughters  
instagram was very informative. 
 Sadly my friends loving husband
  passed away September 2017 I
 never met him...   it would have been 
his 60th birthday a few days before I
 started my search for her!
It was amazing to see  how much
  my friends daughter  resembles
her mother. Certain poses were
 exactly the same...she is built 
almost identical to her mom. 
It was heartwarming to see,
as my mind reminisced!
Spring is here...photo credit Cupcake
 I've said several prayers for my 
 old friend and wish her well. 
This sounds terrible, but I have
no desire or energy to reignite
  that friendship. I can barely
 keep up to my current 
relationships! Including
friends and family! But
for some reason my intuition
was determined to arouse
and inform me! I'm still
processing all this recent
information... 
Do you have any fond memories of people
  you have no desire to reconnect with? 

Thursday, April 12, 2018

Intention of your Stories



The human condition is so multi layered and complex.
 Now that everything is out there on social media
 it's way easier to spot and magnify flaws. Even 
though you may erase  them in your life they are
  permanently etched  somewhere in the minds 
of others or on the internet!
100 day art project day
There are many brave bloggers and influencers 
willingly put themselves authentically out to
the world. Some are very  superficial, others 
are  educational and informative!  It's truly
 a privilege when they share so generously!
 We can all learn so much once we weed
 through all the fluff!
Writers and artists are now expected to have
a large social media following. With that, 
  comes  scrutiny and judgement that can
 be hurtful to any human spirit!
I try to give people the benefit of the doubt.
As I would want the same treatment! Last 
week when I spoke about sharing less
 flattering photos and stories  I truly gave
those influencers a pass because I know
they never have ill intentions! I know they
often get negative comments that are so 
cutting. I'd never want to be party to that!
Intention is really important to factor in
when making a judgement of any kind!
Those two hardworking very loving 
influencers are sincerely good souls.
 They lovingly shared family stories
  they thought were worthy and 
endearing from their perspective.
 Were they naive? Possibly. If they
read my blog could they be mortified.
Possibly. However whatever they
 share comes from a place of kindness.
 When you look at an elder person
you can often forget who they once
were! What was important to them
and how they might  feel held up
to the light in their worst condition!
Over the years I have made many 
mistakes that I cringe at now! Do 
I have regrets...big ones! I'm just
happy they aren't recorded on the 
internet! Bad enough that friends
and family saw them.
I was always proud of how my dad
kissed us on the lips everyday!
Much like Tragically Hip front man
Gord Downie always did! Dad kissed
my brother on the lips until the day
he died. I still tear up when I think
of how special that was! Very
  few in my neighbourhood had
  as loving a dad as we did!
 
 My brother balks at that story.
He was twenty five when dad died!
 It's a big part of our families love
story that I value! We were never
allowed to leave the house without
kissing our parents...it was a rule!
 My dad loved his children dearly!
I always tell that story with
such love and good intention
and detest that he cuts me off
as though it's inappropriate!
My perspective is different than his!
I have different types of friends 
and live a completely different
lifestyle but my intention is always
good!

How about you .....do you say or do
something out of love that makes
your family cringe?

Friday, April 06, 2018

An Important Boundary!

 This week I will continue to share a few more
 pages as well as a short video of the 
completed booklet I made for my dear 
friend! I'm still blown away at
how much it pleased her! 
Cupcake figures my friend probably 
appreciates how the booklet expresses
many of the  components of who she is!
 I hadn't thought of it that way, but
 I guess we all hope people will see
our true essence with all the little
nuances of who we are!
I also read a quote that said 
"Whenever someone creates something
with all their heart, then that creation
is given soul" The Cat Returns 2002
It was such a joy to honor all my friends assets
in such a special way! Even though I don't love
all the artwork....it was intuitively expressed
with so much love, night after night!!
On another note, we're still at the
 pioneering stages of  social media
 with proper  boundaries not completely 
worked out!  I do imagine it will come in 
time. Not without some regret along the way!!
Recently I watched a few of the instagram
stories that really disturbed me!! One,
a granddaughter showed her Nana
struggling to get up a step with her walker!
While a favourite celebrity videoed her 
aging mother without her front teeth in!
I shudder to think what these older women
would feel if they were aware!
Neither of these lovely female Influencers
 meant any harm. Both are truly beautiful souls!
They just weren't thinking. I felt a bit squeamish 
as I  watched these older women 
on camera. Albeit a few seconds it was still
disturbing and invasive. All the while so 
grateful knowing my daughter would
 would never expose me in that light!
I'm sure both ladies thought their 
adoration was worth sharing. However 
I'm not sure they were aware at how
those being filmed might feel if they
knew it was being shared 
 publicly to a very large audience!
I think this is a really important 
conversation worth having  with 
our loved ones as we age!
After all don't we all want to
star in our own show looking 
our best!
Cupcake knows what a proud
woman I have always been.
  I've never left my house without makeup
 and hair done. I have no doubt 
she will always protect my dignity 
as I continue to age!
My mother was a proud hairdresser.
Who never left her  house without
lipstick and hair done too!
So when she passed  in
palliative care,  my brother 
and I did her hair and makeup!
 Just like she would expect us to!
That way those who would see
  our mom next, would be presented
with the woman she would want
them to see. The beautiful proud 
woman who was loved by her 
family! Not the woman the
Cancer forced her to become!
                            Ask yourself how you would
want the world to see you
if the choice was no
longer yours?
I wonder if those proud women
sharing their aging relatives
publicly  would want to 
be seen without their teeth
or struggling with a walker?

Pretty sure the answer would
be  an emphatic NO, and that
"Do unto others as you would have
 them do unto you" still applies!
 

I hope you will enjoy this very quick video
of my Booklet... the colour and sheen 
are so much  nicer on video.

Thursday, March 29, 2018

New Booklet


Wishing you all a Happy Easter filled with love and joy!!
Photo credit Cupcake!
 I created another art booklet for my friends 
Birthday and slipped it into  the above envelope....
She  was beyond thrilled and used the word
magical to describe how it felt receiving it! 
 She's one who appreciates snail
 mail more than anyone I know!
For years has always sent fun bits 
of mail to our group!
The booklets are done very intuitively. Adding
a bit of what I know about the person to make
 it manifest! I love the process....I'm always
surprised at what appears! This book felt a bit
 more contrived than the  one I'm working on now!
I started by writing down all the wonderful,
  interesting things I know about my friend!
 As I proceeded the images would start
  to appear. It's somewhat like a puzzle
you have to figure out as you go!
The one above was the hardest I just didn't know where 
it would appear and what it was trying to say! I do enjoy
the process even if I don't always like the images that
show up! 
 I do continue on and find joy in the colours!! So glad she
enjoyed receiving it. What I  found interesting is
that my friend is a very hard worker and prides herself
in that!! For decades she never took a sick day.
She has trudged along through migraines and
an injured foot!!
Yet no where did Hard worker fit into her little book.
After it was completed I thought to myself, wow,
she's such a hard worker but everything else she
does is what's remembered and noted!!
Of course it takes a lot of work to be a great hostess,
however it's the end result that mattered and what 
will be remembered!! Even though she puts hard work
and service to others top of her list....we will 
always remember the end results!!
  Almost three decades ago my friend 
first confided in me she liked to write! 
After that we joined a writers group together. 
Forged a deep and lasting friendship!
Twelve years ago March 30th I started this blog!
The rest is history!
Cupcake put together this little Easter combination... those vintage pieces aren't my thing but they look cute!!
Have you ever thought something in your life was
so important....then later found out it didn't
matter as much as you first thought?





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